I didn't mean to, but it wasn't my fault.

I didn't mean to fall in love with you. I couldn't help it.
I didn't mean to cause myself so much pain. It was out of my control.
I knew I would end up feeling this way, but I didn't stop it.

I didn't think about the 'what' and the 'where'. I just wanted to see you.
I didn't think about the consequences to my already broken heart, but I know now that I should have.
I didn't want to think about the consequences, but next time I will.

I hate what's happening, that I'm falling for you.
I hate how it can only end one way: Heartache.
I hate how in the time to come, we'll part ways, and chances are I'll never see you again.

But I'll never forget.

I'll try not to cry because it's over, but to smile because it happened.

But I'll never forget.

Meeting you was chance, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was out of my control.

I wish I could tell you, but I can't. It would be wrong of me, given the current..... situation, per say.

I didn't mean to fall in love with you, but it wasn't my fault.  I'm so sorry......

Things I love...... Things I hate....... And you.

Things I love.
           I love you. Everything about you. Your smile. Your hair. The way you’re a little not right in the head =] ♥ I love the way your cologne smells. Like Earth =] You smell like Earth and I love that. I love how you know the right thing to say, and when to say nothing at all. I love the way you listen when I have something to tell you. I love how you so willingly do anything I ask, just to make me happy. I love how you listen to music with me, and sing the words if you know them. I love how you’re so much taller than me, I like the way it feels to be short =] I love your voice. Deep but soulful in a way. I love your sense of humor. I love how you can always see some bright point in the dark of the world.

Things I hate.
           I hate how we’re so far apart. I hate how I can’t see you when I want. I hate how I’m no longer just down the street from you. I hate how we can only talk on the phone. I hate how we can’t really be a real couple. I hate that I can’t call you at night, knowing you’re busy during the day, and you’re midnight is my 3 a.m. I hate how whenever I look at my beautiful ring, my heart aches for you, and I feel like crying.

But in the end the good outweighs the bad, and I love how it’s not about you or me, but it’s about US. And I’ll always love YOU.

You think I'm afraid of you? I'm not. You annoy me.

First and foremost:

           Calling me a bitch in the middle of class isn’t going to solve one damn thing. It’s not going to fix your petty preppy problems, it’s going to create MORE. With me and my friends.

Calling me a bitch doesn’t make me ‘fear’ you. It puts me in a pissy mood and it brings me that much closer to punching you in the face. Don’t call me out on it, because I WILLLL. Just because I’ve been playing this nice girl card since the first grade doesn’t mean it’s REAL. Because it’s NOT. I am who I am and the real me isn’t afraid to snap a bone.

           Calling me a bitch isn’t going to make you a nice person. It just makes you the bigger BITCH. Honestly. Damn. It really pisses me off when people call me a bitch because I refuse to be their slave and bow to their every command.

And when you call me out on it when I rant on Facebook, you don’t scare me then either, seeing how you’re two feet shorter than me. You say you KNOW me???? Hell no. You haven’t known me in 4 years. I have seen hell. It changes you. You become a stronger more independent person and you fear nothing. Especially hollow threats from classmates. Yeah, you have friends in high school who’d beat me up. I have friends in California who’d gladly do the same. I am not afraid. You say they’re your friends, but are they really? Are you sure you know THEM how you claim to know ME? How do you know that they’re not going to betray you when they feel they don’t need you anymore? Oh THAT’S right. You DON’T.

           Calling me a bitch doesn’t mean I live a bad life. I have amazing friends amd family. It just means you don’t know me, and it tells me that I don’t want to know someone like YOU. It just tells me that you think you’re better than I am. ………. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! To that crap. Just because mommy and daddy buy you everything you want doesn’t mean you’re better than me. It means I’m not some spoiled rotten BRAT who treats people like shit.

So THERE. Calling me a bitch doesn’t make me afraid of you. It annoys me.

YOU........... Forever.

YOU....... are my friend.

YOU....... mean more to me than you could EVER know. OK?

YOU....... are so amazingly perfect to me.

YOU....... are incredibly weird, but I love you anyways.

I……....... am incredibly lucky to have a person like you in my life.

Sure, the circumstances aren’t ideal, but I cherish the time we have together. Second, Minute, Hour, Passing glance. I love your randomness. I love your eyes. Your laugh. Your hair. Everything. Sure, you can be annoying as HELL, but we work it out. That’s what friends do.

You tolerate me the best you can, and that’s how I know you care ;) I know I’m not perfect, and I’ll never try to be. I can only be me, and I’m okay with that because I know you’ll still love me.
So, from now on, I’ll try harder to tell my friends I love them more often. I’ll try harder to apologize when we have our own little mini-fights. I’ll try harder to do anything I can to make my friends happier with who they are and how they live their life. I’ll try harder to be more supportive of everything they do.

These are my promises. ^^

You are my friends, and every single one of your flaws makes you that much more perfect in my eyes. It reminds me that you’re still semi-human. ;) (Love you!)

I want you to know, my friends, that you can come to me with ANY problem. No matter how big or small, I’ll do my best to fix it. I’ll be the one to lend an ear to hear your voice, lend a shoulder to cry on if need be. But I’ll always always ALWAYS listen and never tease or tell anybody you don’t want me to. If you want it to stay between us, then it does.

You are always in my heart, always in my mind, and forever a part of my life.

YOU are my friend.

YOU mean more to me than you could EVER know. OK?

YOU are so amazingly perfect to me.

YOU are incredibly weird, but I love you anyways.

I……. am incredibly lucky to have a person like you in my life.

For Always ;)